Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I'm Back (kinda-sorta-maybe)

I know it has been forever since I have written anything here....but I do have legitimate reasons...well semi-legitimate reasons...well the reason would be legitamate if they had been mine and were true:)

No honestly a lot of shit has happened. Seen a lot of hospitals not just for me but also for my Mom, I almost lost her twice and I was not ready for that and I did not know what the fuck I was doing with myself for a few months. I had the most bestest awesewomerest trip to the UK that any Girl could ever, ever ask for (only because I have the coolest and nicest best friend in the whole-wide world amen) Everybody say "Hi!" to Nicole, ... I spent about a month in London and went to Scotland and Liverpool and went places and saw things and took pictures. I am not naming everything here. I am eventually going to get things set up on my MySpace so it will have all my picture from my trip and everything all together, but it will take a while...a long while.

Anyway, I just wanted let anyone who gave a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut that yes indeed I did fall off the face of the earth for a while. but I am kinda half-assesdly back.

peace

AEIH

Song of the Moment

INXS
Devil Inside
Kick
1988

Sunday, October 16, 2005

"Uptown Girl"

Okay I admit it, I love this song. I am a die hard Billy Joel fan, but I like to say that I like anything pre Innocent Man era (the record that has Uptown Girl on it). But it is just not true. I love that damn song. I remember waiting in front of the TV watching VH1 or MTV or whatever TV channel that was broadcasting Music Videos and hoping to see that Video. I always thought that Billy Joel was so “cool” in that video. I should have known then that I had a pre-disposition to fall for the hot, hunky, “grease monkey” type. You know, the type that Daddy would never approve of, but wanted to be and Mommy wanted to hate but wished Daddy was that “type”.

I just had to get that off my chest. I gonna go and have another drink.

Cheers

“Fuck you, you fucking fuck.” (The most complete and grammatically sentence I can recall)

AEIH

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

“I am Nothing But a Miserable Piece of Crap and I will Never Amount to Anything”

Once again I have let my sarcasm get the best of me; either that or I am listening to certain members of my Church again. I have been going back to Church since the 18th of this month and I am so glad to be going back. I love my Church. I love the messages that are preached in my Church. I love what my Church does in the community. I feel better when I am attending Church. Now I am not one that believes that one must go to Church in order to be saved. I feel it is more likely that one will want to go to Church if they are saved, but I fell that there are going to be a lot of unhappy people on the Judgment Day that truly thought that their presence in a Church every week is their ticket into Heaven. But there are a lot of saved people that have been hurt by the narrow minded criticism and painful gossip that is abundant in every Church that find it easier and less painful to read their Bible and have a true life in Christ, minus Church attendance. Why is it that a place that is supposed to be a place of refuge for sinners has become a place of self righteous judgment of anyone that is not deemed “holy” in someone else’s eyes? I know we are all guilty of passing judgment to an extent; myself included, and that it is wrong. But I try to at least give a person a chance before I write them off as someone I do not like, and just because I do not like someone does not mean I do not love them in the Christian sense of the word. There is not one person I do not like enough that I would wish them ill will or would not like it if they decided that they should come to my Church. But after the run in I had on Sunday night with a “stand-up” member of my Church I realize that not all people at my Church feel that way.

I have been leery of joining up in to many things in my Church since I have been back. I used to be in the choir, teach Sunday School, was active in the singles group and did various other things that were offered at Church. I have been away for a while for different reason since my last back surgery, I have attended sporadically and was even getting back into the groove of things last year when I was pulled aside by one of the ladies that was in the choir with me and was told that her and some of the other women had talked and found my clothing offensive because of the size of my chest. The whole thing was, because of the hormones I have to take because of Ovarian Cysts I sweat a lot so I dress in layers and during choir practice and/or under my choir robe I would remove my top shirt or sweater and wear a tank top style shirt. But they never took the time to ask or to find out that I had a medical reason for doing what I did, but again why would they, there could never possibly be any reason that a girl with blonde hair and big boobs would have to wear a tank top sometimes other than that she is a whore, or wants to be a temptress and lead all of those perfect men astray with dirty thoughts. I never showed much cleavage or skin or midriff at all, but they said it might cause people to get the wrong idea about me or the Church and I might get some of the men think wrong thoughts. So needless to say I stopped going to Church again after a few more weeks. I know that I don’t go to Church for what other people think and I should not have stopped going for that reason, but I did. Well I decided that I have had enough and I miss Church and that fellowship with God and I was ready to go back and wanted to re-join choir and stuff. I was at the point about a month ago I told myself that I was either going to go back 100% or stop going and never go back, so I am back. I guess I should have taken what was said to me the first Sunday (August 21st 2005) I was back as a precursor of things yet to come, but I guess I was to stupid, or was hoping the opinion of one very and seemingly unhappy person was not going to set the scene of the way things were going to go, but I am beginning to think I was wrong. Here is a rundown of what happened that morning.

After first service I went out to smoke a cigarette before Sunday School, since there is a 15 minute or so gap. After I was done I went into the bathroom to check my lip stick and there was a middle age lady at the sink checking her make-up and she told me she liked my piercing and asked how many I had and if I had my navel pierced and I told her I did and she asked to see it and I showed her and told her about the horizontal one migrating out. She said that she was interested in getting her navel pierced and I told her about the place that I go and gave her my piercer’s name. She told me about the neat jewelry that they had at a store in the mall and then asked if I had any tattoos and I told her yes and she asked to see them and I showed them to her. All the while there are a couple of people in the bathroom waiting for the people that decided to get baptized to come out. One of them happened to be the wife of my Sunday School teacher who is really nice and I consider a friend and she asked if I was going to Sunday School and I told her I was and she told me her oldest daughter had decided to get baptized. The lady that had been interested in my piercings asked what Sunday School class I was in and I told her and asked her if she wanted to come and she did. As I was getting ready to leave the bathroom an older lady in the corner that helps the people getting baptized told me that piercing anything on the body was a sin and that getting tattoos were a sin. I did not try to argue with her. I knew she was going to bring up the fact that the Bible talks about the body being God’s temple. I looked and noticed that it looks like she does not even have her ears pierced and her earrings looked like clip ons. She continued with how everybody these days has their ears pierced and that just leads to tattoos and other piercings and I simply said “okay”. I told her I would ask God to forgive me, (she did not sense the sarcasm) and them she continued to go one about how doing something that you know is wrong and a sin is a worse sin. I really wanted to bring up the fact that in God’s eyes a sin is a sin, but I really did not want to start out my new desire of wanting to go back to Church with a fight. The lady that liked my piercing told the old lady that the Bible talks about not casting the first stone, I told her not to worry about it, that it was not worth arguing about. Then the old lady told me that the Pastor of our Church does not approve of piercings and tattoos and that he has had stern talking to’s with people that show off and brag about their piercings and tattoo’s. I assured her I was not trying to brag or to show off anything, but I was not ashamed of what I consider art and self expression (a concept I know was lost on her completely) and I do not come to Church to hide who I am and what I do i.e., smoking, drinking occasionally etc. I left with her reminding me of what she said about the Pastor and what he has done to other people with piercings and tattoos. As I left the lady that liked my body art asked me to hold her stuff while she went to the bathroom and then she would follow me to our Sunday School class. As I left I thought is quiet amusing that someone would fear more and use a threat of what a Pastor would say and do over what God would say or do. Outside the bathroom as I waited for the lady to finish going to the bathroom so she could take her stuff and we could go to Sunday School I ran into the Pastor, and guess what he did not even beat me up or threaten me or nothing. I figured that was going to be the worst of the run ins I had with people about my piercings and stuff, since she was old and obviously set in her ways. Boy, I was wrong.

I was talking to Don about re-joining the choir and asked him about our new Music Leader (the Music Dude) and how he was and Don said I should probably take out or tone down my piercings and I asked him if it was because of the Music Dude and he no, but because of the other people in the choir might not like them. I decided that I did not really care what others in the choir thought and told him so. But to be on the safe side I asked a few of the other members of the choir that I have know for years if they thought that the Music Dude would have a problem with my piercings and they said they did not think so, that we live in the 21st century and in the New Testament of the Bible etc. Because I figured (or hoped) that if the Music Dude had no problem with my piercings that when or if someone in the choir (like Boob Lady and her cronies) has a problem with my piercings and they come to me to tell my what they think I can tell them that I talked to the Music Dude and he had no problem, so if they do not like it they can go to him. So Sunday night I was talking to a friend that is in the choir and the Music Dude walked by us and I told him that I was interested in re-joining the choir and that I used to be a member before he became the Music Dude and that I was wondering if it was okay if I came back to the choir, he kind of looked at me for a second with a odd look on his face and said “sure”. I then asked him if my piercings bothered him and he said, “no, do they bother you?” I told him no and thanked him and told him I would be at choir practice on Wednesday night. So I was very happy Sunday night and after Church I went to the singles fellowship that is after Church on every Sunday night and was really enjoying myself and stepped out on the back patio to have a cigarette (out of everyone’s way so no one can say I am a impolite smoker and am trying to give them Cancer or anything) and I struck up a conversation with a couple of people that were outside. What started as a simple, nice, conversation; what I thought was going to be a get-to-know-you-better type of thing turned into a lets see if we can live up to our mean spirited, narrow-minded Christian stereotype led mainly by one person, but no one else that was there ever stood up to tell him he crossed the line or to back off and there were a couple of people there that I had know for a while and not one of them had my back from his judgmental putdowns that were wrapped in badly proof-texted scripture. But that is the second part of the story to come later. AEIH

Song of the Moment- “You’re so Vain” – Carly Simon

Thought of the Day- “If Corticosteroids are used to treat inflammation, how come they cause you to gain weight. Isn’t gaining fat kind of like an inflammation of the fat cells?"

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

"Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry"

Bullshit. From these ill fated words uttered in the sappy, heart wrenching and incredibly melodramatic 1970’s movie “Love Story” and from the Erich Segal book with the same title we get a picture of people running amuck and doing anything they want without ever taking a step back and worrying on how those actions affect the ones we supposedly “love”, or we get the idea that everyone will walk around on eggshells worrying endlessly that they might do something that could offend the special someone in their lives. I don’t buy it for a second. I do not think love means never having to say “you’re sorry”, but not expecting or needing to hear “I’m sorry” from the ones we love and having it be that much more special when they do say those most difficult (if the speaker truly means it) of words to say. I think that people rely on silly things to decide if what they are feeling is really love or if it is just indigestion. :-) We get told so many inconsistent and ridiculous ways to discover love. There are scads of books out there telling us how to love ourselves, how to love each other, how to love our kids, how to love our in-laws and how to love…….. (You fill in the blank). We are taught as kids that love is leaping and bounding through a spring meadow holding hands with the one we “love”. Or an overflowing basket of kittens on a poster wit a cute little catch phrase that makes us feel all warm and toasty inside. As teens love is depicted as a thing we catch and that makes us stupid, clumsy and irrational when ever we are around the one we are “falling in love” with. As young adult and adults looking for the person to settle down with love is seen as a hunt, a sport for the lonely. To me love is none of that. It is simply being able to be yourself and having your significant other doing the same, with no regard to what others might think of how you two interact. It means not having to laugh at the stupid jokes he tells and him not getting pissy for it. It means not having to fake liking your in-laws and her not stowing away in the bathroom with a box of Kleenex and a pint of double chocolate diabetes inducing ice cream. There is no expectancy in true love, it is something we do not have to work at or strive for if it is real. It is there and does not have to be brought up and examined under a microscope to see if it compares with the next door neighbor’s “love”. There is no test or scale for measuring love. It is either there or it is not, you cannot make it be there when it is not, and you cannot deny it if it is there. Love does not mean you expect the ones you love to be perfect, but quiet the contrary, you expect them to make mistakes and hurt you, yet you know that when they realize that they have hurt you it hurts them as much or more than the pain you are feeling. Love is unspoken in many ways but it never needs to make an excuse for itself. Instead of the one that hurt you saying “I’m sorry”, love is saying to the person that hurt you “I am sorry that you are feeling so bad for hurting me”. Do not get me wrong saying you love someone is not a ticket to have free reign and do as you please with no regard to others feelings, but true unadulterated love has no boundaries, excuses or definition. It is simple yet complex, it is hard to see yet it is always around, it is bigger than you and I yet its parts are smaller than a single atom. To put it plain and simple “Love is Love”.

Quote of the Day- "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed" - Albert Einstein

Song of the Moment- "Way Down" - Elvis Presley

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Truth

Life is shit right now. I have fucked up just about everything. I am doing terrible in school. Hell, I have not even turned in anything in one of my classes and the final is in the next week or so. I hate life and everything that it is about; I do not know why, but this is how I feel. I know it sounds melodramatic but I truly feel this way. I am depressed and moody; I have no interest in anything that I used to love. I love the kids, but do not really want anything to do with them. I stay up all night and try to sleep all day. I do not answer my phone, most of the time even when it is someone I once enjoyed talking to. I do not leave the house unless it is night and I have to get cigarettes or go up to Plano to my doctor’s office so I can get my RX for my pain meds. My house is a mess and I have not done laundry in over a month. All I wear is sweats unless I go to lunch, dinner or somewhere with Don. I know he knows something is up, but probably thinks it has to do with me taking my pain meds. I do not enjoy spending time with him as much as I should. I used to love spending time with him and I still do, but it is different. I have a wall built up and I am not letting him or anyone else get through it. I am having fleeting thoughts of suicide, but do not want to bring that up to anyone, especially if it is someone that knows about my “CRAZY AMY” past.

When Nicole calls I love talking to her, but I do not want to bother her with all this shit. I feel that after all that she has been through that my problems are minimal compared to what she must be feeling. I know that I should be truthful with her because she deserves that since she is my best friend, but it is hard. I also feel guilty about what happened when her Dad died. I was not there for her like I should have been, but it was so hard for me. I could not stand being in that house after I found him dead. I loved him so much and it hurt so bad that he was gone. Hell, it still hurts me that he is gone and I feel bad about that too. He was not my father and I can’t get over him dying, but how stupid would that sound to someone that not only lost their Dad, but their Mom in 2003. God, he was not supposed to die. I should have done something different or better, made him go the doctor more often or made him eat better or watched how he took his meds or something. It kills me that Nicole has to go through all of this and I cannot make it better, I cannot fix it, I cannot make it go away. I go to his gravesite and check up on him. I miss him needing me (God I never thought I would say that). It gave me a purpose and something to do. I loved listening to his stories (even the bullshit ones). I loved his jokes (no matter how stupid they were, or how disgusting). I just grew to love that man; I could talk to him about things that my Dad didn’t want to listen to. I could watch football with him where my Dad hates sports. Do you want to know how pathetic I am? I went to Sonic the other day and ordered poppers and I got them home and I burst into tears (if that is not the epitome of lame I do not know what is).

I do not know what to do. I want to leave. I want to go far away. I am excited about getting to go to London to spend time with Nicole for Christmas and New Years, but I really want to go there sooner and be there for her and see her. I miss her so much and think that being around her would help me. I want to see how she is doing, I know it is not as well as she seems to be over the phone, (she is not a good liar). I know she has friends over there, but they do not know her like I do. They do not know how she hides her feelings and what to look for to tell she is upset. I am thinking about taking the next semester off from school, maybe if I get my new credit card I will use it to get a ticket to go over there sooner and see her for a little while. Just escape for a bit. I just feel that it sounds irresponsible for me to try to run away from my problems I am sure they will still be with me in London, but maybe they would not seem so bad over there. I could go there and be some one else for a week or so. Forget me and my shit and assume a new identity for a while and just hang out with Nicole in a new place where we do not have any bad memories and we could make so new good ones.

~AEIH~

Word of the day - "FUN BAGS"
Damn, I love all the creative names we have for breasts!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Things I Want to Share

Once again I have been thinking, and as we all know that is very dangerous and can have very, very negatively boring ramifications. But in my own defense I have no life and nothing better to do with my time (well I could study, but why in the hell would I do anything that productive). Anyway, to get back to what I have been thinking about…….. I have lately been thinking about what knowledge I have, that I have gathered in my long and harrowing 25 years (please sense the sarcasm in that last statement). With having the influence that I have in the lives of two very precious and as of yet fairly unbiased children I want to pass on some bits of wisdom, advice and just general what to do ifs to the kids since one is at the age, 12, and the other is getting to the age, 8, that they are going to be facing some really tough shit in their lives, so I have compiled a list of things that I want to share and I hope anyone and everyone who reads this will stop and think (even if it is just for a second, because unlike me I am sure y’all have a life).

So here is some things I have come to know, or be pretty sure of, or at least they work for me for now……..

Farts are funny!!!!!!!!
God is yours
Never throw a lit cigarette in a toilet while you are sitting on it and there is toilet paper in it. You will burn your ass (Thanks Mom)
Knowledge is not power, the use of knowledge is the true power
Hair will almost always grow back, so color, cut, bleach and style away
The leading cause of death is birth
Putting a penny in your mouth will not allow you to fool a breathalyzer test.
If you have any opinion, share it, but do not try to change people’s minds (unless they are trying to jump from a bridge, and then if they are being a big ass, give them a push) Just Kidding!!!!!!!!
Art is beautiful, even if you do not agree with it
Anger is good and healthy
Your body is not a temple, your heart and soul are, so decorate your body with whatever you want and do not feel bad for doing so
Work is good
Hard work is better, but only if your heart is into it
Dance to the music of your soul, your spirit will thank you
Just surviving is a noble fight (Thanks Billy Joel)
Music is the sound of life, without one there would not be the other
Every writing is the ink of someone else’s soul, be open to what it says
Please never whistle while you work, unless you work with the deaf or alone
College is not for everyone
Before you die one must go to two places, California and New York (stop by for a visit to Austin, Texas on your way through, you will never regret it)
The is no relevance in skin color
The feeling of sun warmed sand between your toes and the splash of an ocean wave crashing at your feet for the first time is better than some of the sex you will have in your lifetime
Sometimes it is okay to stop thinkin’ about tomorrow, there will be times when today is busy enough
Embrace other cultures, read about them, learn of their ways, meet their people, eat their food and listen to their music; you will walk away with a better understanding of why you believe what you do
Do not be afraid to sing along to the radio, who cares what the asshole in the car besides you thinks
It is okay to cry and not to know why you are crying
Being manic is fun
Sexual orientation does not make a person
Watch the news, but don’t obsess. Things are never as bad as they want you to think
Peer pressure is not as scary as your teachers tell you, there is just as much pressure from the “good” people as there is from the “bad” people
If you take a hit from a joint, you are not going to die, go to hell or become a junkie
If you experiment with drugs make sure you know what they are, who they came from, you have me or a close friend with you that will be sober (or not as fucked up as you want to become) around, and that you know what to expect from the drug that you are trying
Being politically correct is impossible; someone, somewhere is going to take offense to something
Never use a needle to do any type of drug, if you are to that point that you need to mainline to get your high you are past the experimentation phase and you need to get some help and lay off
Vitamin C will help a hangover, but nothing will cure a hangover
Cops do not care that you were doing 97 in a 55 zone because you had to pee
It is okay to sleep with your blankie, stuffed animal, or whatever you have for as long as you want
Do not be afraid to say “I love you”, but when you do, mean it.
It is okay to hug people, even if they are of the same sex
You are never too old to kiss your Mama, Gramma, Aunt, Daddy, Grampa or Uncle
Go to at least one concert in your life, nothing beats seeing a musician live and seeing the work that goes into performing
Professional dancing (the kind without a pole involved), is a true sport, no matter what anyone says
Eat your vegetables, but some meat is okay too
Being fanatical about something is fine, just remember you will probably eventually get bored and find a new cause, but that is okay
Doing things out of guilt will cause resentment
Learn and tell at least one dirty joke; just remember to use it appropriately
The most tortured souls are often the most creative
Clichés are inevitable; the use of them is avoidable
People mock what they fear, and they fear what they do not understand
Laugh at what you think is funny, even if no one else is laughing
Just because family does not share the same bloodlines does not make them less of a family
Never purposely hurt someone else, no matter how bad you want to
Things don’t always get better, but you become a better person
Do not be willing to settle, but be willing to adapt
Sometime in your life you have to; go out of town, dress in something you would not usually wear and assume a new name and identity for at least one night
Not everything will give you cancer
It is okay to want to get away from it all, it is okay to go and get away from it all, just come back
The world is not made up of rainbows, unicorns and fairy shit; there are mean people who will say and do mean things, learn to thank them for it, it will make you a better person
Do not be afraid to spend money if you have it, money comes and money goes but memories of what you did with your money will be with you forever
You will do things in your life that you are ashamed of; that is okay, learn from them, move on and remember I will always love you no matter what
Always have one outfit in your wardrobe that you can wear either to a wedding or a funeral and not draw attention to your self. Whether it is a wedding or a funeral the attention should not be on you, this is not your day
Masturbation will not make you go blind, or any of the other crap people say to scare you. They only say that because they do not know how to do it right to enjoy it.
Read
You are never too old to lay on your back, stare at the clouds and “see” things in them
Go camping at least once in your life
Cartoons are fun to watch no matter how old you are
Be cynical, be jaded, do not be hateful
Stay up and watch the sunrise at least once in your life (at the ocean if possible)
Good sex is beautiful
Bad sex is about as much fun as getting your toe nails pulled out
War in never the desired choice, but sometimes you get the desired outcome
Stand up for something
Believe in yourself
Believe in others (to an extent)
Read the Bible at least once through in your lifetime, even if you decide not to believe in it, you will learn something from it
Do not hold a grudge; a grudge is like a cancer, it will eat at you slowly for the rest of your life
Forgive, but never forget
Honesty is a good thing, but lying is sometimes necessary
Being crazy is fun
No one is normal; normalcy is in the eye of the beholder
Fat people have feelings too
Pregnant women to not appreciate everyone rubbing their belly and asking questions
Ask and you may not receive
If you can afford it, buy your dream car and drive it every day
Love yourself for who you are, not for who you think you should be
Taking criticism is like picking fruit; you keep the good and throw out the bad
If you have good friends, good food, good drink, you will have a good time
The song “Piano Man” does get old after the third time in a night a drunk at a piano bar requests it and it is played, unbeknownst to the drunks requesting it
Always tip your waitress, no matter how shitty your service is
Old people are a plethora of wisdom
Listen to and respect your elders, even if you disagree
True friends love you for who your are, not who you think you should be
Everyone has morning breath
Do not let the people at church ruin you from a relationship with God
Carbohydrates are not evil
Caffeine is your friend
Listen to all genres of music, each decade shares a time in history that we can never get back
History provides a road map through life so we can avoid the land mines of our past
Love is love (Thanks Boppie)
Falling in love is a phase, staying in love is work
For every apology you ask for you should be willing to except three
Tornados are attracted to trailer parks like a magnet to steel
You are never too old to stand in the pouring rain, with your head towards the sky and let the rain splash on your face until you are soaked to the bone
Standing out in the rain will not give you a cold
Thunder and lightning are like a natural acid trip, watch as often as you can
The first snowfall is always the best
You are never too old to catch snowflakes on you tongue
Your tongue will get stuck if you lick a freezing pole
Do not to be afraid to write what you feel, no matter how silly, odd or dark it may be
Watch at least one Monty Python show or movie in your life
Laughing until your stomach hurts and you are crying is better than Prozac or aerobics
Do not fear technology
Be unique, be yourself
Recycle
Make sure to take to time for yourself, but do not get wrapped up in yourself
The past is now, the future is the present
We are in a constant state of change and that might be scary, but it is okay
Do not learn to minimize and internalize everything, you need to let your feelings escape
We make history everyday
Learn about what happened before you, and you will make a better future for yourself
You are a hero to someone
Even if I could I would not take away the pain in life, I want you to hurt so you know you are alive and still can feel
If you ever get big headed, drive to an unlit place out in the country and stare at the stars; you will realize how small we as humans really are
Even if you think of yourself as eccentric please remember to shower regularly
Learn to defend yourself, physically and verbally, and get into at least two fights in your life; win one and lose one. It will keep you balanced
Take time to watch the sunset every now and then
The more you live, laugh, love, learn, cry, and hurt, the more you feel. The more you feel, the more you can share
Never limit yourself to being defined by one moment, if you do you are denying yourself of life
Freedom is beautiful, never take it for granted
Never stop learning

I am sure as I go through life I will find more things I want to share, and I am sure as the kids go through their life there will be things that they will share with me that will make me see life a little differently. I hope that I will always be open to new ideas and never close my mind to accepting a new way of life or a new way of thinking, because if I do, anything and everything I ever said to anyone will not hold any credence, and I will be the worlds biggest hypocrite, which if I ever become I hope there are enough people in my life who love me that will smack me upside the head and show me what I am becoming. ­– AEIH © 2005 Amy E. Heckart

Song of the Moment - “I’ve Loved These Days” – Billy Joel

Thought of the DayWhy?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

What the FUCK, Over?

Disclaimer: I do not care if this post offends anybody. Please do not bother to e-mail me, it will not change my mind and I really do not care what anyone thinks. This is my opinion and if it makes you sad, mad, angry or totally pisses you off, tough shit.

I swore I was not going to get involved in disputing this topic with anyone, but I caved. I am weak, no not really; I am just sick and tired of the relentless media coverage of the case in Florida regarding the vegetable lady Terri Schiavo.

LET THE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!! (No offense to her and her family, I am sure she was a wonderful person, the operative word her is WAS)

Holy Shit people, she is not going to get better. She is not "alert". She does not "communicate" with anyone or anything. She is gone, she is not herself and will never be again. I am sick and tired of the right wing, Christian fanatics that are "protesting". I thought that death is what us as Christian's were supposed to be looking forward to? No wonder people hate Christians and most forms of organized religion. I really hate the fact the parents are letting their kids go out and get arrested for protesting. These people are beginning to look like a bunch of deranged assholes; they are more delusional than Terri Schiavo's parents. I am really sick of people saying things like "if the feeding tube was kept in, maybe a miracle will happen and God will heal her". I do not know about them, but my God does not need a feeding tube in to perform a miracle; He can do it without any help. By the way, if Jerry Falwell was not considered a complete "crazy" before, he is fucking bonafide now, after the comments that are spewing from his diarrhea of the mouth having head. It is of no business to anyone but her and her family what is going on. I heard someone the other day compare her to Christ, what the hell is that all about. I could not think of one similarity between the two. Oh, and then you have the numb nuts that are making this a pro-life, abortion issue, they need to go get a new bandwagon to jump on, they have rode this one until the fucking wheels have fallen off. I have also heard the analogy of "if anyone was treating a dog like this they would be jailed", no the damn dog would have been put to sleep 15 years ago. Yeah, I really loved the way the President has ignored this topic the whole time he has been in office and during his re-election campaign, but as soon as he got in for four more years and has nothing else to loose he has to stick his ass in the middle of it. Since when is it anyone else's business what one wants to do with their lives (or lack there of)? I hope people will go out and get a living will and make their wishes known so we never have to go through this media circus again.

Thought of the Day:

“It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.” – President Ronald Reagan